Have You Seen My Virginity

This is a true story — I’m posting it in the hope that someone else in net-land has run into these people…

It was about five years ago, late summer. My friend Mark and I had been working at jobs that we hated all summer in our boring small town, but soon we would be heading back to our respective colleges. We decided to go camping, get away from it all and unwind.

We went to my favorite park in southern Illinois, which has a real small camping area — about twelve campsites. We had been there about a week or so, drinking whisky while sitting on the sandstone cliffs watching the sun going down, making daily excursions to nearby parks, etc. But we didn’t see any women worth looking at for the whole time.

Until the second to last day that we were there, that is. We were basking in the afternoon sun after a lot of running around that morning, hanging out near the main scenic trail in the park. We saw this couple go wandering along — a guy with his blonde, skinny but shapely girlfriend. She was wearing tight cutoffs and an open shirt tied at the waist. This got us pretty horny, and we were getting to feel like we needed to get back to the civilized world.

We went back to our campsite, and noticed that there was only one other group of campers still there, at the other end of the camping area. So we cranked up the B-52′s on my boom-box and danced around on the picnic table and made dinner. We were sitting and having a couple of beers, when we saw this truck drive through the camping area real slow. It drove all the way through, and about five minutes later it came cruising past again and pulled into the spot next to us. Mark and I raised our eyebrows at this, since the place was so empty, but went about our business.

Then we noticed it was the same couple we’d seen earlier. They set up their camp, and, when it was dark, came over and asked us if we’d like to join them for a few beers. We grabbed our cooler and the boom box and followed them back to their campsite. We were having a lot of fun talking with them, when the conversation started getting sort of weird. The guy would drop suggestive remarks, the woman would get sort of embarrassed, and Mark and I would wonder what was going on. Then the guy (I’ve forgotten their names, I was slightly distracted) said to his girlfriend, “Hey, why don’t you show these guys your tattooes?”

(…)
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