One of my friends suggested that I put a sign next to my front door to repel unwanted visitors. You know the sort, religious people trying to give you their propaganda, siding/vacuum cleaner/insurance salespeople, research/poll people, and all of those “unwanted visitors”. His suggestion was to put up a sign that said:
“The occupants of this dwelling are nudists. Please do not proceed if you are ofended by the human body in it’s natural state”
Well, I thought that this was a great idea! No more religious freakos interrupting my Sunday morning sleep-ins, no more “pushy” sales people… Yeah. This was the way to go…..
So I put up the sign, and for months had a wonderfully peacefull existance, free from unwanted visitors. All of my friends knew about this little ploy, and would shout: “Put your gear on!” when visiting, and it became a bit of an “in” joke.
I would watch in amusement as the car pulled up the drive, and the occupant, usually dressed in a suit, would head for the front door. Suddenly they would retreat to their car and drive away….
One day however, the door bell kept ringing. I peeked out of the window and saw a very young lady persistantly pressing the button. I checked the drive and saw an old model car, rusty and with a broken headlight lens.
OK, I thought, if you are prepared to keep ringing my bell, then you get what you get.
I stripped off and opened the door.
(…)
Read the rest of The Nudism Defense (1,216 words)
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